Missed that memo

Top 10 Mom conversations I never expected to have

  1.  Son (Screaming from the hall bathroom): Mom come look at my bubbles!

Me: That’s so awesome buddy!

  1. Honey, don’t ride the dog (Great Dane), she’ll buck you off
  1. Buddy, why are your clothes on backwards? (Son “changes”) Dude! Your shirt is still backwards! Ok,    new rule, look at your tags before leaving your bedroom.
  1. Where is your other sock?
  1. No, sorry, you cannot have a pet spider in the house.
  1. How did you get pee on the wall?
  1. Multiple times a year to both husband and son “no duck calling in the house!”
  1. After catching my son taunting his cousin – “No math problems at the dinner table!”
  1. driving past a crop of potatoes:

Me: Hey buddy, do you know what’s growing in that field?
Son: yup, salad.
Me: actually, I’m pretty sure it’s potatoes.
Son: (laughing) no, I’m pretty sure it’s salad mom.

  1. After a kid a daycare was spitting at kids –

Son: “Mom he’s getting his DNA on me!”

Me: no words

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