- Son (Screaming from the hall bathroom): Mom come look at my bubbles!
Me: That’s so awesome buddy!
- Honey, don’t ride the dog (Great Dane), she’ll buck you off
- Buddy, why are your clothes on backwards? (Son “changes”) Dude! Your shirt is still backwards! Ok, new rule, look at your tags before leaving your bedroom.
- Where is your other sock?
- No, sorry, you cannot have a pet spider in the house.
- How did you get pee on the wall?
- Multiple times a year to both husband and son “no duck calling in the house!”
- After catching my son taunting his cousin – “No math problems at the dinner table!”
- driving past a crop of potatoes:
Me: Hey buddy, do you know what’s growing in that field?
Son: yup, salad.
Me: actually, I’m pretty sure it’s potatoes.
Son: (laughing) no, I’m pretty sure it’s salad mom.
- After a kid a daycare was spitting at kids –
Son: “Mom he’s getting his DNA on me!”
Me: no words